She will have no fear of bad news; her heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. (Psalm 112:7)

Insecurities.

Insecurities happen because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. -Steven Furtick

Gwe lagi asik-asik blogwalking keSINI and this sentence captured my sight (and my mind). Seru itu kalau kutipan-kutipan kayak gini emank lagi pas banget sama yang lagi kita alamin. Yes, gwe baru ngalamin, kemarin malam kalau gak salah. Gwe baru aja menghabiskan seharian waktu gwe with my best friend from highschool. Kita udah gak ketemuan berbulan-bulan, udah lama gak bbm-an and share things juga.. Sampai kemarin itu, we talked about many things, mostly tentang kehidupan percintaan dia, yang gak sampai tiga bulan, udah punya satu chapter kisah lagi tentang love's life.

Lalu malamnya, (let me tell you this little eww secret) i whispered to God... 'Tuhan, ini love's life temen-temen (khususnya my senior high school friends) koq langgeng-langgeng yah? After chapter 1 kelar, ke chapter 2, si A pacaran sama B, putus, si A pacaran sama C, si B pacaran sama D, dan seterusnya, and God? why mine is stuck?'

Iya, boleh koq ketawa, boleh banget.
Stupid question? Or pathetic one i think.
But honestly i really asked Him, why?
Kalau boleh dibilang, my love story sejauh ini...................... kayak drama FTV yang sad ending. HAHAHA. 

I felt so insecure that night. 

Then tonight, i've been reminded with that sentences. Kekhawatiran gwe, kegalauan gwe, keasikan-mengasihani-diri-sendiri gwe datang karena gwe membuang waktu gwe dengan membandingkan kisah cinta orang-orang dengan kisah (di balik layar) gwe.

I believe too much that God is doing something great behind me. He has created awesome things di depan gwe. Hanya gwe belom sampai ke titik itu. Iya mungkin si A kisah cintanya langgeng, iya mungkin si B kisah cintanya walaupun gak langgeng tapi keep moving, iya mungkin si C begini dan begitu. 

Punya gwe? mungkin terlihat stuck and not going anywhere. But again, i believe Tuhan udah nyiapin suatu hal yang jauuh lebih besar dari sekedar love relationship untuk gwe lakukan. Satu hal yang harus gwe lakukan adalah, stop membandingkan kisah gwe dengan kisah orang lain. Stop :) It will bring you nowhere. Start to believe and trust in Him. Trust Him with all your heart, and mind. 

He makes all things beautiful, in His time. Faith(fulness) is highly required. ☺

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I write because He is exist. I write because His Grace manifested in my life. I write so one day when I lack of Hope and Faith I can reread all His goodness and mercy that ever happened in my life and my Faith will rise up, in Christ alone.