She will have no fear of bad news; her heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. (Psalm 112:7)

Desahan hati

Saya, sedang krisis hari-hari ini.

Krisis percaya diri mostly karena i'm gaining weight nowadays, jadi tiap kali ngaca kayak kesel sendiri :") trus at night lagi suka scrolling through whoever's instagram dan found pretty talented women dan somehow, well you know that feeling lah ya~ Krisis pertemanan karena...... Beberapa kasus 'kecil' dan yang menurut mereka 'sepele', padahal gak sekecil dan sepele itu buat some people dan gwe yang melankolis ini. Hard to explain, but this is how I feel nowadays. That kind of feeling yang washed away your confidence and your trust to people.

And you know, entah mengapa memasuki umur 23 ini, gwe beberapa kali dikasih ayat from my some friends, tepatnya 3 kali.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:4)

It's funny karena jarang kayaknya orang yang kasih ayat ini untuk someone's birthday, biasanya kalau orang ulangtahun dikasih ayatnya kan yang tentang blessings, God's favor dan lain sebagainya. Dan salah satu di antara 3 kali gwe dapet ayat ini adalah I got it randomly. So my friend bought 4 flowers with different card inside, terus dibagi randomly ke gwe dan 3 temen lainnya. When I saw my card, it's written there.. 'You are wonderfully made :)'

It feels, God is so close right? Exactly when I feeling like, i'm not that pretty enough, not talented enough, not good enough, not lovable enough, bahkan in some point I can feel so alone (not lonely because nowadays I think I start to enjoy alone-ness). It's funny how God try to remind me how wonderfully God made me. The bible tells me so, then why I have to doubt myself?

Maybe now you're in the same feeling as I feel now, just so you know that the same message God has reminded me, He tells you the message too, that you are wonderfully made :)

*currently listening to One thing remains - Sarah Reeves version*


Dhieta said...

Titiiiin, been there, done that!

Of course you are lovable, beautiful and talented :D


Christine Natalia. Powered by Blogger.

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I write because He is exist. I write because His Grace manifested in my life. I write so one day when I lack of Hope and Faith I can reread all His goodness and mercy that ever happened in my life and my Faith will rise up, in Christ alone.