'til Dad says.. yes.

Imagine this, one day you went to kids station, dan dari dulu memang you long for a set of barbie package yang udah complete sama kamar mandi, wardrobe dan kamar tidurnya. Girls, who don't dream of this since a kid? I do. Dan mm bayangkan, one day you go with your daddy ke kidstation and you see a package of barbie, tapi yang ini gak gitu komplit, cuma ada kamar mandi dan kamar tidurnya, gak ada set wardrobe yang bajunya lucu-lucu itu.

But you're tired of looking for the coolest complete set itu, males nyari dimana-mana soalnya udah abis, kata pegawai kidstationnya itu limited edition dan you have to wait sampai stocknya ada lagi. Then you choose to pick this set yang cuma ada kamar mandinya dan ada kamar tidurnya and you hold it tight sampai dibawa ke kasir.

'kamu mau yang ini?' your dad asks you. Sambil senyum cengar cengir penuh makna beliau nanya lagi 'gak mau yang full set aja nanti?'. then you hold this set tightly sambil mikir, you want it for a long time, dan disaat ketemu, meskipun gak lengkap seperti yang dipengenin dari dulu yaaa at least, mirip lah. But your dad tau, bukan ini yang dari dulu kita pengen.

You keep silence for minutes sambil mikir, should you wait another days or even months untuk dapetin apa yang emank dari dulu dipengenin, atau milih 'jalan singkat'nya dengan gak nunggu lagi, but the consequence is, gak ada wardrobenya alias baju-baju barbie yang super kece dan lebih mahal dari baju asli itu.

But you know, this is not what your dad expect you to buy, He is willing to give you the best, that full package of barbie. Even if we want to buy the less complete one, your daddy still asked you to wait on the best. Yaa... tapi kalau kita kekeuh sama yang ini yaaaa tetep sih dibeliin sama your dad.. but he knows, few month after this, pasti we want the more complete one, again.

What will you choose? Wait for a longer time to get what's best, atau menyerah dengan memilih yang didepan mata sekarang, tapi you know, you could have a better one if you wait. Mana yang dipilih?

But unfortunately, sepanjang jalan-jalan di kidstation itu, you terlanjur hold the barbie tightly and nganggep it is as yours. Then when your dad asks the question again, 'beneran mau yang ini?', you know, your dad expects you to put back the set into the shelf. And okay, dengan berat hati you put back the set. Berat, banget. But you know, your dad willing to give you the best, because you just simply know, deep inside of your heart and your dad's heart, it says no. It whispers, 'wait a little longer 'till Dad says... yes.'

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Desire Fulfiller

I remember, one day i was talking to myself *iya gwe sering ngomong sendiri*, 'nanti kalau udah kerja, i want to be written as writer di employee id card gwe, tapi kalau kerja di company majalah or something gak bakal tulisannya writer, palingan reporter atau editor'. Time flies, and here i am, beneran di tempat kerja gwe sekarang i'm listed as writer.. hihi.. 

Kemarin pas jalan kaki pulang dari kantor *yeah, have i told you my office sedeket itu dari rumah?* i was like reflecting my life, dan keinget sama desire gwe itu, when i was pengen banget tertulis as writer and it did happen, dan gwe kemarin sore kayak.... 'well, if God so cares for my job, definitely He cares about other important parts of my life, seperti misalnya mmm.. pasangan hidup'. HAHAHA iya gwe wondering-in ini juga pas jalan kaki pulang itu.

He knows my desire untuk jadi writer and through some moments in my life, hari ini it did happen. Entah bagaimana kedepannya, setidaknya my desire once fulfilled. I trust He knows my desire to have a man whose heart after God's own heart, He knows my desire to date a man who passionate for Christ. Singkat cerita, belakangan waktu ini, maybe i was sempet maybe well, distracted from that desire. Sampai beberapa hari lalu, di kerjaan gwe, i have to interview a man, still very young, around 28-an gitu kayaknya, and he has he passion for Christ. You know if someone has that passion in the way they talking and testify about Christ. Dan lucunya, ketika lagi wawancara dia, gwe kayak merasa Tuhan agak noel sambil maybe He talked 'tuh, masih ada kan yang kayak begini...' HAHHAHAHA it's either imajinasi gwe terlalu tinggi atau apa, but it's true.

Balik lagi di perjalanan pulang sore kemarin, i realize something sih, Tuhan itu Tuhan yang tau keinginan hati kita koq, Tuhan itu bukan cuma tau bahkan, if our desire inline sama yang jadi maunya Tuhan, believe me, He will fulfill it. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart -Psalm 37:4 He knows, He cares, and in His time, Dia bakal give us what we desire, in His time.

So, what's your desire? A great job? A Godly spouse? A cute kid? All-around-missionary-trip? Atau apa? Is it inline with His desire? If it is, then just wait and see, in His time, He will fulfill it.

 

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How could i not be?

Well, it’s been a while since I posted something on my blog.. huhu.. super tight schedule jadi bikin susah ngeblog… *gayaa bener* sometimes kangen masa-masa nganggur, kerjaannya bangun siang, nonton dvd, baca novel, baca buku, makan, tidur… Sekarang? Bangun pagi pulang malem :”)

Beberapa hari ini lagi up to date sama film-film bioskop *tumbenan*, kemaren itu nonton divergent, Son of God, dan captain America.. bolehlah tiga-tiganya lumayan kece filmnya. What I wanna talk about here adalah film Son of God, it was good. Gak sedramatisir dan se-wah Passion of the Christ sih, tapi di Son of God ini, message-nya sih dapet, filmnya juga lebih enteng dan gampang dicerna, tapi juga bikin jlebb di hati.

One of my favorite quotes di film ini adalah, ketika *agak lupa siapa* kayaknya Petrus ditanya sama orang farisi *kalau gak salah*, ‘why do you follow Him?’ dan Petrus menjawab ‘after all what I see, how could I not be?’. Beh… jawabannya kece banget si Opa Petrus ini..

His answer bikin gwe setelah nonton film itu termenung beberapa saat, iya ya… kalau kita udah ngalamin sendiri sama Tuhan, how loving He is, how great He is, udah pasti we become His follower. I always wondering, just as if I was born that moment, disaat Tuhan Yesus ada di dunia, kira-kira gwe bakal pro atau kontra ya sama Tuhan?

Back to the topic, hm, become a follower of Christ is not a status, not a title, but an experience, an encounter. Gak bisa tuh kita jadi pol-pol-an buat Tuhan kalau kita sendiri gak pernah ngalamin Dia secara personal, gak tau Dia kayak apa, mm lebih tepatnya gak ‘ngeh’ kalau He is our God, our beloved Best friend and Comforter.

Ngalamin? Apa sih maksudnya?

Ngalamin means, realizing that every little thing He gives to us is because He loves us so. Encountering Him means buka telinga kita wider, buka mata kita wider untuk menyadari kalau He loves us. When you know you are loved by the One who died for you, secara otomatis koq kita bakal ngikut Dia, secara otomatis kita bakal don’t wanna hurt His heart. That’s the power of Love. Love will sacrifice itself to see the happiness in someone we love. Kalau kita tahu Tuhan sayanggg banget sama kita, kita gak bakalan semena-mena sama hidup dan hati kita, karena kita tahu our values.

So, when someone asks you, why do you follow Christ? Can you answer them by saying ‘after all what I’ve been through with Him, how could I not be?’

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